Thursday, October 19, 2006

In which the Meridian finds humor in some of his e-mail's subject headings

Yahoo!'s spam filter is a pretty good one, to my mind: the occasional missive from a relative of a currently-out-of-favor Nigerian prince or oil minister finds its way into the legitimate mail, and sometimes wanted mail gets filtered as spam. But those are rare occurrences.

At any rate, the subject headings for these are good for providing the occasional chuckle, if nothing else. Maybe some of these will do the same for you. Spelling and word choice are peculiar to the senders and is bolded; snarkiness [read: lame jokes] is italicized and is my own.

Want to be a hero in a bed?
"I'm not heroic in a bed/I'm not heroic on a sled." In seriousness, though, this one lacks the appeal to triumphalism that the usual sex-aid pitches trumpet or promise. The indefinite article, I think.

Must have medications.
An obvious cry for help.
Just yesterday in class, we were talking about how to use hyphens . . .

my socialist
At the nexus of politics and romance. But would Marx approve?

unavailable avail
"To dream the impossible dream"

unnoticed gargle

Not that I open many of these just to see what they contain, but there are some I won't deign to touch, not even with a cursor.

She will love you more than any other guy.
Dangling-modifier/confused-sexuality alert.

cajole wasp
Speaking from childhood experience, I assure you that this is a risky thing to do.

exhort suffocation

Every day you loose the sensations of seex!
I thank you for the compliment . . . so tell me why I would need your product?


Ariel said...

LOL. Apparently the monkeys who write these sex appeal subject lines didn't get their normal quota of coffee downed before heading in to work.

Winston said...

Great idea for a post. I've been mildly amused by some of the subject lines I see going through my spammus interruptus. Maybe I should watch for some good ones and do what you've done with them. Imitation is the sincerest form of flatulence, or something like that...

John B. said...

Thanks to both of you.

Incidentally, just this morning I received one with the heading, "sociopath foliage." Y'all need to watch out for that gang of yews down there on the corner.