Saturday, December 06, 2008

So, Darth Vader goes to an antique store . . .

"I find your lack of Empire furniture disturbing."

(Image found here.)


The things the Mrs. dreams.

Last night's: She is protecting Princess Leia from Vader, who, when not pursuing them, visits the galaxy's antique stores in search of three votives with rule-the-galaxy-type powers. (It was at this point that I made the joke about the Empire furniture; in the dream, he wasn't in the market.) The Mrs. and Leia find a beach house in Malibu and hide there, but Vader finds out that they're there. Just as he's about to nab the Mrs., she jumps into a swimming pool. Vader can't follow her into the pool because of, and I quote, "all that electronic shit on his chest."

And then she woke up.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know, if Luke Skywalker had only thought to through a glass of water at Vader, a la Dorthy in OZ, we would have been spared a lot of heartache with three more movies.

Cheers.

John B. said...

Heh. Indeed.

Unknown said...

Such a cool dream. It's practically a prose poem; the authenticity of the antiques (which enable fantasies of recovering past domesticities) confronts the homelessness of the archetypal orphan, a father (Vader = Pater) who flies around in grotesque caricature of a world ("that's no moon") that destroys worlds (a homeless home-wrecker), including his daughter's. But she takes refuge in the ultimate simulacrum of domesticity -- a southern california beach house with a swimming pool! -- and Vader discovers that his brand of techno-modernist destruction is no match for the Southern Californian pastoral vision of creating a home in the desert. To narrate it in just one way.

Octavio Paz would have loved that dream.

John B. said...

Z.,

I miss grad school.

As my wife's dreams go, this one is pretty tame. Once, she dreamed that she was in a room filled with flying cockroaches that had Emmett Kelly's face. But I still liked this one: the image of Lord Vader in antique shops, cape billowing out and endangering bone-china tea sets, is one I will hang on to for a long time, I think.

Anonymous said...

Erm, you sorta got it wrong, and you didn't phrase it in all of its eloquent glory, but I am a forgiving wife. I SAID it was because of his "hardware."

But he was looking for the votives that he THOUGHT Princess Leia might still have them(which is why he was chasing us), but Darth is no dummy, so he hit up the galaxy's finest antique stores along the way, just in case she might have hocked it for a new space crusier or something.

But she wouldn't have done that because Leia knew, as Darth did, that the votives held the keys to the universe.

*pushes her glasses back up on her nose*

Okay, I'm done now.