The dangers of reading to children

You read Dr. Seuss books to your three-year-old niece just one too many times over the summer, then in the fall assign a unit on parody to your Intro. to Lit. class . . .

Beware the slippery slope.

“The Love Song of the Cat in the Hat”

(with apologies to T. S. Eliot and Dr. Seuss)


It was evening, October, and we were alone,
Just Sally and me and no one else home.
When there at our door came a rap-a-tat-tat.
It opened and there stood a cat in a hat!

He stood there and stood there and looked ‘round the room,
Unsure of just how, or if, to presume,
But then cleared his throat, and he said, “Ahem!”

“Oh, let us go now, Sally, you, I.
The evening awaits us! Oh me, oh my!
Your mother’s not here? Oh, she will not care.
She will be pleased if you take time to dare!

“We will have time—oh yes, we’ll have time
For me and for you, for questions and rhymes.
My head is not bald, it’s not on a platter.
We three are young, so time’s no great matter.

“So let us visit—the places we’ll walk!
We’ll have us no dull Michelangelo talk.
Our games will be fun, and nothing can faze us.
There’s no room today for formula'ed phrases.

“The things we will do, the places we’ll see!
And then we will take us some toast and some tea!
Oh yes, we’ll have tea, and marmalade, ices!
We’ll forcefully force us a moment to crisis!

But we will not die with a dying fall—
Oh, no! All will be worth it, all after all!”

“And that is not all we can do,”
Said the Cat.
“That is not it, at all!”