Saturday, March 18, 2006


Long-time readers know that my children and I are separated by many, many miles. Painful as that can be at times, I call and talk with them at least once a week, and that helps immeasurably.

But my girls are in mourning today. Yesterday one of their cats, whom their mother and I brought with us from Houston to Mobile before the girls were born, had to be put to sleep because its kidneys had failed. This is the first time for them that they fully grasp death's significance.

As I talked to G., my older daughter, about all this last night, in the background I could hear her sister, C., wailing, literally wailing in her grief, the whole time we were on the phone. I could hear her and hear her pain, and yet I have never felt further away.


Aunty Marianne said...

It's awful for you to be so far from your girls as they grieve. But grief is a fire that purifies us all and however much we are comforted by others we all walk through its valley alone.

When I was 15 my mother made me take the responsibility for choosing whether we would try and keep our dying cat alive another three weeks or so in pain, or euthanase it then and there. She's a hard hard woman, my mother, but she knows what lessons to teach.

jmb said...

Death is hardest on children. My own children have already experienced the death of both of their grandfathers, and this last fall watched a very close family friend succumb to a brain tumor in a few short months. In the same time period, they witnessed the aftermath of another friend's suicide, and more deaths than I care to discuss anymore.
For awhile my "strong silent type" son appeared to be fine, but at night he would have horrible night terors, which were terrifying to helplessly watch. It's funny because through all this, my kids were strong. We included them in every aspect of the funerals and explained to them as well we could that our loved ones were in a better place.
But you should see what happens if they think our precious Jojo has been hurt or is in danger...
I think their kitty means more to them than anyone else. I guess they feel like it would be like losing their child. And I have to say, losing one of my children would be something that I couldn't even handle. My thoughts are with you and your children, and their precious kitty.

fin said...

I hope that they will embrace a new kitten...when the time is right. It's so important to have animals close to you. The memory of their old friend will live in the new.

PS: I love Arcade Fire. I was stuck in the backseat of the car so...of course I took out my camera to pass the time.