Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts

Friday, September 09, 2011

"Happiness is not always the best way to be happy": Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are (2009; dir. Spike Jonze). Trailer here. And here is a (dead-on, I think) review by Christopher Orr (which is one starting point for this post). Image found here.

The Mrs. and I finally saw this for the first time back on Labor Day. First things first: I highly recommend this film. The poster you see here is a pretty good encapsulation of its dynamics, I think: big, furry creatures (of course) that seem to be responsible for the scratches on the tree trunk (but what do they mean?); a mysterious round section removed from a distant trunk; is the creature hiding out of fear or playfulness, or the desire to harm?; and, suffused throughout, a bright-but-hazy light filtering through a forest in a late-fall state. Max (Max Records) may or may not be lurking about. The mood is ambiguous. It could turn in any direction, and without warning.

The whole film is like this. I had to sleep on it and go on my morning walk with Scruffy before I could think of a comparable film; and, this past Tuesday, while musing on how to introduce compare-contrast papers in an "interesting" way, the film I thought of was The Wizard of Oz.

I do like The Wizard of Oz, but for a long time I have wondered what the source of its enduring appeal (too polite: how about, "its stranglehold on the American popular imagination") is and, in particular, why it's presented these days as a film whose target audience is children. Is it its glossy, brightly-lit cartoonish surface in the Oz sequences, or Judy Garland's luminous voice when she sings "Over the Rainbow," or Margaret Hamilton's having entirely too good a time in her dual roles as Miss Gulch and the Wicked Witch of the West (the flying monkeys scare me more than she herself does), or what? Whatever traces of political allegory in L. Frank Baum's novel that might remain in the film are clearly not meant to be its focus--indeed, its preamble makes clear that the film, released almost 40 years after the novel's publication, is itself meant to be a nostalgia trip (already!) for "the Young in Heart"--it's intended for adults, in other words. (It's hard to have nostalgia-filled childhood memories of debates over the gold standard or the shortcomings of farmers, manufacturers and governments.) As one of my students blurted out in class when we were discussing this, it's really not a children's film, though it clearly is about childhood. There's something very strange about all this, though, something that neither nostalgia nor the tradition of having grown up watching it and so your kids should, too, don't fully explain.

It was in making certain connections between Oz and Wild Things that Oz became less strange to me. Max and Dorothy are very similar in their relationships to their respective families: each feels pushed aside as their parents/guardians are busy with their own concerns; each seeks protection from sorrow (Dorothy wants to go over the rainbow; Max, when he lands on the island of the Wild Things, announces that he has brought with him "a sadness shield that keeps out all the sadness, and it's big enough for all of us" (If that isn't enough to meet your minimum daily requirement of poignancy, by the way, pay a visit here; this film's language, by director Spike Jonze and novelist Dave Eggers, is extraordinary). The figures each meets in his/her respective fantasy sequence bear striking resemblances to figures from their "real" lives--indeed, in Wild Things Max also meets himself, though he doesn't recognize this, in the creature named Carol (who is male, and about whose name I have some completely unfounded speculation later on); as Dorothy says at the end of Oz, in each fantasy sequence, "some of it was awful, but most of it was beautiful"--which is to say, the fantasy sequences are troubled spaces as well, a fact which explains the long, wordless closing scene in Wild Things and Dorothy's realization that "it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that - if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with!" (all sorts of stuff is rumbling beneath the surface of those words) and her declaration at the close that she's "not gonna leave here ever, ever again."

If you think about it, Dorothy's speech about looking for her heart's desire is a much less direct way of saying what one of the Wild Things tells Max: "Happiness is not always the best way to be happy." And it's realizing that, along with the other striking similarities between Max and Dorothy, that leads me to say that Oz has endured as long as it has because we sense it's telling us something genuine about childhood after all. That something is harder to see in Oz--one gets the feeling that Dorothy's speech went through a whole lot of re-writes so that it doesn't sound like it's saying what it actually says, which is, "A sepia-toned Kansas is what you've got in this life"--and much closer to the surface in Wild Things, a fact which seems to be at the root of the criticism it received.

Watching Where the Wild Things Are is kind of like watching your ecstatically-happy three-year-old daughter jumping up and down on the couch and being too far away to catch her if she happens to fall toward the coffee table: you feel their delight and yet can't help but feel at least some vague dread and, sooner or later, anguish (part of the anguish having its source, of course, in your not ever quite knowing when she'll fall), and then, after an interval, watching it all start all over again. (Yes. Her collarbone. Just once, though.) The scene from which this still comes (image found here) is a case in point. Max has just seen his mother (Catherine Keener) kiss a man she has invited to the house for dinner; he is angry, and when his mother asks him to call her sister down to eat, he does what you see here instead. I had expected this either to turn into slapstick or that there'd be some simple, violin-filled resolution to this scene as I watched--how many other films with similar scenes are there in which the parent tries to placate the child in some way?--but this scene only escalates from here. Max will end up biting his mother on the shoulder and then run out of the house into the woods. Soon, he'll find the boat that he sails to the island of the Wild Things, where he will declare himself king and declares he can make his enemies' heads explode . . . oh, and that he has brought along his sadness shield, too. We're only a third of the way into the film. Lots more couch-jumping to come, each scene standing on the edge of a knife, the sad ones veering into happiness every bit as quickly as the happy ones suddenly careen into an aching poignancy.

It's hard to watch; but then again, we know there's nothing truer one can say about childhood.

It's never in real doubt that Max will return home and be reconciled to his mother, and certainly never in doubt that she will choose to meet his needs. But the film's end doesn't tie everything up in a bow, either, the way that, again, any number of films with similar moments have conditioned us to expect: the mother still has to earn a living; there's no discussion of the would-be boyfriend; and where is Max's sister, Claire?

Back in 2009, before Where the Wild Things Are was released, I had this to say in a post on Carol Reed's great film, The Fallen Idol--another film that is not for children but which has a child at its center:

Such films reveal the uncomfortable truth of childhood that children, heavily dependent on adults for nurturing and protection, must learn to deal with their growing realization that adults are not dependent on them for anything at all--that kids have no choice but to rely on grownups, but adults--yes, even parents--are free to choose (or not) to acquiesce to satisfy that reliance. Kids are lucky--and luckier than they know--when grown-ups make that choice.


I have no evidence whatsoever for thinking this, but I do wonder if Jonze and Eggers gave the name Carol to the central Wild Thing as a tribute to Reed. Reed knew how to make movies about childhood. So also do Jonze and Eggers. I somehow doubt that yearly showings of Where the Wild Things Are will become a treasured American tradition, but I'm perfectly okay with that. One slightly-odd movie per year is enough annual nationally-shared weirdness.

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Pavlov-to-Paula Deen Continuum

Paula Deen, High Priestess of Southern Cooking, presides at Communion. Image found here.

Some business took me to Mobile for a couple of days at the beginning of the week, and so I was thrilled to see my daughters, G. and C., one night over supper. They are well and happy . . . and, um, well, it's one thing to know your daughter has been driving by herself for a couple of months, but quite another to actually see her doing it.

This exchange took place after our waitress took our orders:

Me: I miss hearing Southern accents.

C: Hearing them makes me hungry.

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Monday, February 09, 2009

No pun intended

Meet the new board of education!!

(Okay--that pun was intended.)

Image found here.


Let's just dispense with the one patently-obvious question you are almost certainly going to ask by answering in this way: I don't know what the hell she was thinking.

I talked with my older daughter G. on the phone tonight, and she caught me up on all the goings-on at her school. But she led off our conversation with the pronouncement that she thinks her science teacher has gone crazy and proceeded to provide a fair amount of evidence that, even allowing for typical 8th-grader flights of hyperbole, I think would persuade most people who know how things should run in a school. I strongly suspect that she (the science teacher) will not be back in the fall. Well, neither will G., but that's because she'll be starting high school.

Wow. "High school." I just typed that.

Anyway. One of the more interesting pieces of evidence G. supplied was that this teacher, without parental or administrative knowledge, much less their approval, recently planned to have her classes build and then try out a bed of nails. Yes: I understand how beds of nails work. So, if you don't see what the big deal is, then envision middle-schoolers, with lots of sharp things and tools, building something like what you see in the picture. No approval. From anyone.

But never mind all that. You're reading about this at all because of the teacher's name:

Ms. Pierce.

UPDATE (Tuesday the 10th): So as to reassure my tens of readers, in these days of stimulus packages, that I don't just blindly assume that throwing lots of money at public schools will suddenly cause school district administrators to acquire Solomon-like powers of discernment, in this same conversation G. noted that her school has both cut "by half" (she says) the number of copiers and purchased and installed "several" flat-screen TVs in the school cafeteria.

Why is it that technology--or, more precisely, its acquisition--causes otherwise intelligent people entrusted with purchase orders to become glassy-eyed with desire and yet not think about, you know, how its acquisition will benefit teachers and/or students? Sometimes it actually does aid in learning, yes; sometimes, though, it turns us into bipedal raccoons.

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Darkening the doorway


Top: The 150-foot tall Zilker Park Christmas tree, Austin, Texas; below: Yours Truly and his two daughters (G. is on the left; C. in the middle) demonstrate what any self-respecting, physically-able Austinite must do, round and round, at high speed, underneath said tree. Both pictures taken by my brother, whom I'd not seen since his return from Iraq this past spring.

Ten days and over 2,000 miles later, I'm back home--briefly (New Year's Day/The Mrs.'s birthday celebration up in Topeka (where those who know, go), dontcha know). Scruffy is relieved to be home as well: he likes other dogs well enough, but he prefers them smaller and in smaller doses than the ways in which he was around them. As soon as we got home yesterday and he had a quick look around the apartment, he collapsed on the living room floor and slept the sleep of the relieved.

Anyway, this is one of those end-of-year grab-bag kinds of posts, partly self-indulgent, of things that popped up while I was out and about. To spare both the casual visitor and those who'd just rather move on to something more substantive, the rest of the post is below the fold . . . though those who choose to persevere will find a practical driving tip at the very end.

Just before I left, Nick (who also goes by "Doc") of Will Not Be Televised very kindly e-mailed me to ask me if I would send him a link to a post of mine that, in my estimation, was the best of what I had posted last year. He was making the same request of all the bloggers he links to: an idea he freely admits he had stolen from online-satirist extraordinaire Jon Swift. Of all the ideas out there that one could steal, by the way, this one is especially worthy of being stolen. Anyway, I sent him a link to a post and, while I was away, he sent me the link to his "The Best of You" post. Thanks again for asking to include me, Nick. In case anyne is curious/cares, I sent him "Cycling in the Rain; or, Defying the cultural logic of late capitalism", in which a Saturday-morning rainstorm leads to some musing about how serious bike-riding reshapes how we think about those things we call "neighborhoods." For those not inclined to read every last one of the posts Nick links to, here's my selection of the best of The Best: "Caught Between the Devil and a Hard Rain" (a Bass-o-Matic of the Kansas City blogosphere, Robocop, drug-running, Lutheranism, and f-word-speaking Beatrix Potter characters (really!)); "Lucky Wok" (in which KC-area restaurant-reviewer DLC advises readers not to run to the buffet at your local Chinese-buffet place but to "try the Chinese (menu)"); and this vignette from An Oddment of Sandwiches recounting the strange confluence of the paranormal and Final Jeopardy! that reads a little like one of those stories from Zen Buddhism.

Those less than satisfied with my own best-of-new (to me) music post might find greater satisfaction with this list of lists over at NPR. Like NPR itself, the lists in the aggregate are like NPR itself: an eclectic mix of the mainstream and the less-known, the domestic and the international, selections by noted critics and regular listeners' own choices. I literally only have time right now just to link to it, but next week I look forward to delving into them. Also via NPR's All Things Considered from yesterday: this utterly charming Robert Siegel interview with Caitlin Sanchez, the new voice for Dora the Explorer. Siegel treats her like a child, in the very best sense of that phrase; Sanchez, meanwhile, is a precocious 12-year-old (she likes Thelonious Monk) who clearly has spent a lot of time talking to adults but doesn't come across--except in one funny instance--as one of those kids who's forgotten that she's just a kid. If you have 7 minutes to spare, you'll want to listen--their exchange about Thelonious Monk is a great little entree into thinking about his music.

And speaking of music: Santa was exceedingly generous to me in that department this Christmas. I received The Neville Brothers' Gold, a 5-decade survey of their music and the perfect introduction for those whose knowledge of the Nevilles begins and ends with Aaron--Aaron is here, but so also are generous selections from the Brothers' other permutations as the Hawkettes, the Meters, and the Wild Tchoupitoulas--all told, a great survey of New Orleans-style R&B and funk; Steely Dan's Can't Buy a Thrill, still my favorite album by them; and Vols. 1 and 2 of Home Grown! The Beginner's Guide to Understanding the Roots (rap, from an actual band, no less, that doesn't lapse into the caricature of thuggin' and druggin' and celebrations of excesses but, instead, continues in the tradition of Public Enemy and NWA: hard-edged and angry but not despairing. Good stuff.)

It was good to spend some time with my daughters, now 14 and almost 11, at my Mom's house. In addition to the Austin-y thing pictured above, we visited the LBJ Library and Museum, did a little book-shopping (both remain avid readers), bought some bicycle accessories for younger daughter C.'s newish grape-purple bicycle, and went shopping at Central Market, which is something like your local foodie hangout on steroids--all healthy and good-for-you steroids, though, of course. G. was looking for--and found--some sodas from France that her French teacher had shared with the class; C. was in search of chocolate-covered sunflower seeds, and each met with success. I didn't find the Twinings chamomile tea flavored with honey and vanilla that the Mrs. and I had one day while in Mexico City, but C. reminded me that there's this thing called the Internet and I might try looking there. Ah so. They are beginning to recover from their Jonas Brothers fixation--G. was proud to share with me her wonder at the music she had been introduced to via Pandora: "music no one has heard of," she said. C. and I spent about an hour one day just batting a tennis ball back and forth on the floor--not talking much, just passing the time together. At one point, she got the giggles and then the hiccups, which caused me to laugh. "It's (hic!) not funny!" she admonished. "Yeah, it kinda is," I told her.

It is now about eight and a half years since I moved away from them, and so I know well not to take a great deal of the credit for how they have so far become the girls--young women, really--they have become. (Whatever differences their mother and I had as a couple, there's no denying that she has been a wonderful mother to them.) I could not be prouder of them, but it is the sort of pride resulting from, mostly, whatever I have may have contributed to the Nature side of the Nature/Nurture ledger. It is natural, though, for parents to look for traces of themselves in their children, and so my particular version of that search is an odd one: physical resemblances aside, what of me is in them, after not having been a daily part of their lives for so long? It is a hard thing to say. All I know is, I do clearly see both those ways that they are like their mother and those ways they are not. They are like that merging of people that their mother and I never figured out how to do, but they are also more and other than that merging, too. They are already different from this past June, when I spent almost a month with them; no doubt, they'll be different people again this summer, when I hope to have them here in Wichita for a week or so. Anyway: it was an all-too-short three days with them, but it was time well spent.

Enough of that. I do want to make sure, though, that those of you who have read this far leave with some practical advice (via my father-in-law): If you happen to run over a mattress with your car on the highway, Don't. Keep. Driving. (Click to enlarge the images.)







An early Happy New Year to all.

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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I grow old, I grow old . . .

My older daughter, G., is 13.

She now has her first official boyfriend.

When the boy was younger, his AOL ID was SkullHead.

That is what is known as "a phase," They tell me.

G. and the boyfriend go out on (chaperoned) dates and stuff.

It's my understanding that this is perfectly ordinary, healthy and, in its way, good behavior for normal, well-adjusted girls her age to engage in.

(Well, it's what They tell me.)





I think I'll be drinking a couple of beers tonight.

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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Does it take a village?

I love babies and young children (something, by the way, that I didn't know about myself until I became a father), but I also recognize and respect that not all adults share that love. Even so, Camille's post, "Mr. MacGregor's Gardening Legacy," describes an incident that compels me not to respect the behavior of the man that she describes. Have a visit over there (it's a brief, well-written post) and come on back.

Here's my question to you: what is your general principle when interacting with children not your own in a public space?

Here's mine, for what it's worth: I haven't read Hillary Clinton's book, It Takes a Village, so I can't affirm or argue with any of its particulars. But I'm a firm believer in the attitude the title embodies: that in the abstract, parents should be the ultimate authority figures in their children's lives, but it's entirely right and proper--I'd go so far as to say vital--that we all be more (gingerly, politely) proactive, at the individual and the societal (read: policy-making) level in both affirming and "re-directing" children and their behavior if their parents or other adults seem not to be around.

"Pro-active," I should say here, doesn't mean "pre-emptive": Camille's post struck such a chord with me because she makes it clear that the kids weren't harming a thing; you'd think from the man's behavior, though, that they were plotting to set up a BMX course in the garden. Also, all parents can think of an instance or two of other adults' unwarranted or unwelcome busybodiness regarding interactions with our children--I'm not talking about that sort of thing here, either. When my daughters were younger, I of course felt some embarrassment when I would hear of their misdeeds from other adults, but I was also gratified that someone had taken an interest in adopting the role of in loco parentis. My take is, such actions benefit both the person doing the re-directing (and, indirectly, all of us) and the child: in the home and at school, social hierarchies are (ideally) clearly defined, but such isn't the case in public spaces. Kids need to feel welcome and affirmed in those spaces--they have as much right to be there as adults do. With rights, though, come responsibilities: they also need teaching and reminding that they can't just go helling about in, say, a city park or a mall because no walls define the spaces people occupy. My thinking is that we'd be on the whole healthier as a society if we'd stop taking the attitude that other people's kids aren't our responsibility, even as we inwardly seethe when they're doing something we know isn't proper or acceptable.

All this is easy to say and, I suspect, agree with . . . but the devil is in the details. We could take up a whole bunch of server space talking about hypotheticals, and that's not my intent here. I'm more curious in hearing what you have to say about your own guiding principles on this issue.

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Wednesday, July 09, 2008

New Orleans without the sin: A bit about Mobile, and two children therein

The Kate Shepard House, Mobile, Alabama, now a bed and breakfast. This house is a couple of blocks away from where my daughters live.

More images from Mobile here


Commenter May made a request of me a while back, so this post is in part a belated response to that request, and in part a quick recounting of highlights during my June stay in Mobile.

For obvious reasons, going to Mobile is emotionally difficult for me, but I still enjoy the city itself--especially its age. In 2003 the city celebrated its tricentennial, and the majority of the houses in the neighborhood where my daughters live are around 100 years old (their house was built in 1905; a couple of others just down the street were built in the 1850s, just to give you an idea). The Shepard House is actually atypical for the neighborhood where they live. There are some other Victorians thereabouts, but none so ornate. Most of the older houses are Creole-styled houses like the one you see here, or Creole-influenced (not just the porches and high-pitched roofs and 12-foot ceilings, but that certain austere elegance as well that Creole-style houses have for me). In its day, the girls' immediate neighborhood was populated by upwardly-mobile types who were waiting for a still-bigger ship to come in (literally, in some cases, as Mobile's wealth in those days was in shipping and trade); nowadays, the equivalent socioeconomic class lives there.

Mobile is New Orleans without the sin, I tell those who ask me: Both French-founded; both briefly held by the Spanish; both with a strong Catholic foundation shaping its culture (Mobile is the birthplace of Mardi Gras in the U.S.); both important ports; both vexed by the occasional hurricane and low elevation. In short, as a docent giving a walking tour of the French Quarter once described New Orleans, both are in their essence Caribbean cities. I'd say, though, that Mobile is more "Southern" than New Orleans, but that's a relative statement: Mobile is no Birmingham or Memphis or Jackson. It's also, relatively speaking, a sleepier city than New Orleans, but that's beginning to change with the arrival of a steel mill and a factory that builds parts of airplanes for Airbus.

More below the fold.

If you like your oak trees big, Mobile is your kind of place. (Something most people don't know is that Mobile is often rainier than Seattle.) One example: A couple of blocks from the girls' house is a massive live oak that fully shades the front yards of two houses and a good-sized portion of a third across the street. However, if you're a walker or a cyclist who wants to use the sidewalks, you'll quickly see that those in charge of maintaining the sidewalks have ceded to these trees' massive roots. So, then, the streets. They're decently-maintained, but they are narrow, and people often barrel through residential neighborhoods. When C. and I went on our first big neighborhood adventure on her bike (she rode, I jogged along), we of course got lots of practice in stopping and watching for traffic, but she got some experience in some mild BMX-style riding, too, as she learned how to negotiate the edges of slabs of concrete that tree roots had forced up a couple of inches. C. is 10 and so far has no need to ride too far away from home; if she stays serious about cycling, though, she will soon come to see that Mobile isn't especially bike-friendly and will have to learn to adapt to that fact.

So: the big news as far as C. is concerned is that, for now, she's a confirmed cyclist. The news about G. is harder to see. She is in the middle of middle school, and several long conversations she and I had were directly or indirectly about that fact. She is very perceptive and thoughtful about social dynamics among her peers and doesn't like their more abusive manifestations. Though she thinks she qualifies as a popular girl, her friends are her friends, whether or not they happen to be popular, too. She can't abide social snobbery--she has been snubbed by some on those grounds--and she has stood up for African-American friends of hers in the face of plainly racist slurs aimed at them by other kids. I had the pleasure of meeting the parents of her best friend while I was there; I told them that from what I heard about their daughter, I thought they were very good friends for each other, and the mother said, "We feel just the same about G." I ask you, parents: clue me in if there are words regarding your progeny more likely to induce a rush of happiness in you.

She says, of college, that she wants to major in business and minor in French. I'll withhold judgment for now--she's only 13, after all.

We also had some lengthy conversations about religion in general, denominational differences, science (specifically evolutionary theory) and the Bible. She admits to being a conservative in these matters, but she is filled with questions about precisely those views as she thinks her way through them. One example: she asked me what happens to the souls of those who either died before the coming of Christ or who die without having been witnessed to. (Some context: both girls were baptized as Lutherans; after I moved away, they then changed their membership to a Baptist church, where C. was "re-baptized,"1 a couple of years ago; but recently G. has begun attending a Methodist church close to the house.) It goes without saying that I'm thrilled that she's thinking about these things and engaging anyone in conversation who has the time and patience to talk with her about them. To quote Thomas Merton (as I'm pretty sure I have before), "The question is the answer."

In sum: the girls and I thoroughly enjoyed each other's company this past month. Mobile is their home--G. recently told me that she can't imagine living anywhere else. But while I know of any number of Mobilians who would agree wholeheartedly with G., I also know that neither she nor her sister say such a thing without also giving real thought to what it means to live there.

__________
1I understand the Baptist thinking regarding baptism; but, speaking as a Lutheran . . . let's just say that this is one of those many instances in which "understanding" shouldn't be confused with "acceptance."

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Left to the Imagination

NPR has a meaty story this morning on how, during the post-war era, the nature of children's play has changed. Briefly: with the appearance of toys that required more-scripted play, there has been a corresponding decline in kids in their capacity for what is called "executive function":

Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

We know that children's capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn't stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at the National Institute for Early Education Research says, the results were very different.

"Today's 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today's 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago," Bodrova explains. "So the results were very sad."

Sad because self-regulation is incredibly important. Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child's IQ. Children who are able to manage their feelings and pay attention are better able to learn. As executive function researcher Laura Berk explains, "Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain."

Running parallel to this has been the increasing emphasis in schools on developing cognitive abilities (read: "teaching to the test") at the expense of so-called "free play"--unstructured free-time; the highly-endangered concept of recess. That matters because it is unstructured play that exercises the child's capacity and ability to imagine, which aids in the development of executive function. And there's more, which I don't have time to talk about just now. Trust me, though: if you've read this far, you'll want to hear this story in its 7-minute entirety.

I got to wondering, as I listened, if there weren't also some correlation between these trends and the subject of and ensuing discussion at this post and this one. The story didn't address this particular angle, but I thought: the story's example of a scripted toy is a toy machine gun first made in 1955; part of Barbie's status as an evil archetype of gender roles is that it is so over-determined regarding the sorts of play it encourages. Its launch date: 1959.

See the title of this post: Perhaps, as less and less is left to the imagination (figuratively as well as literally) regarding the display of (children's) bodies, less is left to the child to decide--to imagine ("executive function")--regarding what to do with that body, what is/is not acceptable on his/her terms. If that's so, though, the consequences of increasing parental disinvolvement in reading those scripts, as it were, would seem pretty much self-evident.

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Monday, February 11, 2008

Excerpt from a conversation with C.

C.--she of the previous post--and I talked on the phone last night. We pick up the conversation where I've just informed her that I have sent her a small present:

C.: I love presents!

Me: I know you do.

C: Something I like to do sometimes, when I get really bored, is I'll find something that someone has given me and put it in a box and wrap it up, and then I pretend that someone has just given it to me.

Me (intrigued): I didn't know you did that.

C.: Yeah . . . and sometimes I'll find something of Mommy's and do the same thing--it's like more of a real gift that way.

Me: Well! That sounds like a lot of fun.

C.: It is . . . but I have to be really, really bored.

I have thought about this all day long.

It feels like it means something.

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Saturday, February 09, 2008

Reason #6853 why my daughters' mother and I used to joke about putting our girls into convents

Via the new-to-me blog Dante and the Lobster comes this story from the BBC (emphases mine):

Bedroom furniture for young girls with the brand name Lolita has been withdrawn by Woolworths following complaints from parents.

[snip]

Catherine Hanly, editor of parenting website raisingkids.co.uk, was among the parents to complain about the furniture advertised on the Woolworths website.

She said a Woolworths press officer had told her staff running the website "had no idea" of the word's connotations.

"I expect a company like Woolworths to actually know what it means and the connotations and stuff," she told BBC Radio Five Live Breakfast.

"It has become a name that is synonymous with sexual precocity and the fact that it is tied to a girl's bed - it literally couldn't be worse taste."

A Woolworths spokeswoman said: "Now this has been brought to our attention, the product has been removed from sale with immediate effect."

[snip]

It is not the first time retailers have been criticised for using branding with sexual connotations on goods marketed for children.

In 2005, WH Smiths came under fire for selling youngsters stationery bearing the Playboy bunny - a symbol of the pornography empire.

Prior to that Bhs decided to withdraw its Little Miss Naughty range of padded bras and knickers for pre-teen girls after attracting criticism.

Just this quick observation: Woolworths' official position of corporate ignorance of the very culture and its referents that it markets to is one thing; what is more distressing, if one is in search of Ultimate Causes, are two things 1) Even if Woolworths is/was ignorant, the branders of these products clearly are not; 2) (actually, this is one I'd rather not dwell on too deeply, since it's not yet sunrise as I write this and I prefer to retain a cheerful demeanor this early in the day until I have reason not to) Without at all excusing the actions of pedophiles, one has to wonder about a consumer culture that on the one hand rightly condemns and punishes such actions and yet on the other (and not on fringes of that culture, either, as anyone who has strolled into a children's clothes section can attest) implicitly subscribes to the notion that it's acceptable to for clothes to present prepubescent girls' bodies in sexually-alluring ways. While I would much rather these manufacturers just not make such things, period, I'm smart enough to know that they wouldn't make them, and in such quantity, if a market for them didn't exist.

So, yeah: I'd just as soon not believe we've produced and/or become inured to what is in essence a culture of barely-closeted pedophilia. It's too damned early in the day--and my daughters too close to puberty--to think that.

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Sunday, August 12, 2007

Notes from the road

Mexican Bird-of-Paradise. My aunt and uncle have several of these in near-full bloom at their ranch south of San Antonio. Photo originally from here.

Even though I returned from Mobile early Wednesday morning, it still doesn't quite feel as though I'm back. I spent the past weekend with the Mrs. up in Topeka; faculty workshops and meetings for the fall begin tomorrow; and sometime this week the Mrs. and I will begin moving into our newer, bigger apartment (though still in the same complex, so the "Stretch of River" posts will continue for another year at least). So, before the bloom falls completely off my trip with my daughters, I thought I'd better post a little something about it.

Below the fold, to spare the disinterested:

Before the girls arrived, I did a little research at the U. of Texas and toured U.T.'s new-to-me Blanton Museum of Art. I'll have more to say about the Blanton in a future post, but--especially if your thing is Italian Baroque painting or contemporary Latin American art--y'all need to know about that place.

The girls had been making the national tour of Texas for the previous couple of weeks before they met me at my mother's house in Austin Wednesday before last: first to Dallas to see their mother's brother and his wife; thence to El Paso to see their mother's parents; a return to Dallas; and finally to Austin. We first went to the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on their IMAX, with the big climax in 3-D. Not the best of the Potter films, but it did look grand. The next day, we went to my aunt and uncle's small cattle ranch just east of Devine, Texas. Uncle John's cattle were fat and sassy, reveling in belly-high bermuda grass where, just last year, there had been none--they've already had almost twice as much rain there this year (29") as they do in a typical year. Good to see.

On Friday we were off to Houston to stay with my father's brother for a couple of days. He'd not seen the girls in some years, so I was curious to watch them through the eyes of someone who was basically unfamiliar with them. They all got along famously. It was in Houston that I began to feel a pleasant sort of distance from them; they seemed a bit less my daughters and a bit more their own selves, if that makes sense. I had felt that same distance a couple of visits ago, but it was more disconcerting then: "My babies are growing up!" The old time-is-slipping-away feeling. But not this time, or in a different, more positive way. As the Mrs. reminds me, the High School Years loom yet, but my sense (knock on wood-product) is that they won't cause their mother and me undue legal or social embarrassment. The big adventure in Houston was our Saturday trip to the zoo and the natural history museum. The girls learned that our family has deep roots in Austin, my forebears being there almost from the beginning and quite prominent for the remainder of the 19th century. They were especially pleased to learn that my 5-greats grandfather opened the first ice-cream parlor in the city but seemed less impressed to learn that my ancestors put the roof on the first state capitol building. Priorities. Still, though, C. caught the overall spirit: "I didn't know we were famous!"

Then came Sunday and the trip from Houston to Mobile. It was on this leg that I felt something different, a little twinge of hurt that was a signal to me that my girls were older now. For many years, it had been our tradition, while crossing the Atchafalaya River Basin on I-10, to roll down our windows and yell "Ca-JONS!!" (as last reported here). This time, though, as I did it, G. said, in a tone of embarrassment mixed with reprimand, "Daddy!" So: I fear that this year will be the last calling of the Cajuns for us.

On the other hand, this growing-older bit might not be such a bad thing in other ways: When we stopped for lunch at Mulate's in Breaux Bridge (just east of Lafayette, and well worth the trip off the interstate for lovers of Cajun cooking), C. made sure we knew she was very conscientiously choosing from among the less-expensive items on the menu.

This past Monday was our trip to Dauphin Island, as reported in my previous post. But something I didn't report in that post was that both G. and C. were looking for bivalves with their halves still attached. They separated a couple of them and gave me one of the halves, keeping the other halves for themselves. They were also picking out shells for the Mrs. and kind enough to pick out some of the jumping beans they had bought in El Paso for me to give to her, too.

The previous couple of trips to see my daughters had been hard ones emotionally for me, but this one was different. They are older, they're maturing, and I found myself enjoying those facts instead of being unnerved by them. So, perhaps I'm growing up a little, too.

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Thursday, June 03, 2004

On the difficult nature of compassion; listening to Tori Amos in Arkansas

Back again from having been out of town visiting my children.  They are well, thank you for asking.  My younger daughter, mishearing a familiar heraldic term, asked if my family has "a coat full of arms."  I told her that it would be a bit disconcerting if we had one of those.  I also walked the difficult tightrope, with my older daughter, of on the one hand affirming her intelligence and on the other affirming her teacher's need to teach everyone in the classroom, which sometimes means that she (my daughter) will occasionally not see the need to be taught (much less be tested over) certain things.  A tricky tightrope to walk with a 3rd grader.  We went to the beach; to cool down, we saw Shackleton's Antarctic Adventure at the local IMAX.  We played Monopoly; we rented and saw the remake of Cheaper by the Dozen.  We hung out.  It was a good week.
I cannot improve by way of commentary on this piece by Leon Wiseltier in The New Republic on the metaphysics (if that term is appropriate for an emotion) of compassion.  I found especially significant the suggestion, sometimes forgotten, that the Holocaust is a horror not because it happened to any group of people in particular but because it happened at all.  Sure, that's an obvious thing to say; but it's a measure of the state of things these days that we need to be reminded that compassion isn't--or shouldn't be--conditional or contingent upon the aptness of analogy or politicized.
One of the CDs I took with me on my trip was Tori Amos' Under the Pink.  Amos' music isn't the sort of thing I  immediately think of grabbing for road-trip listening; to my ears, it has an assumed chamber music-like quality.  That is, it takes on the air of requiring close listening.  Some might--and have--call that "pretentious" or "self-absorbed": not the usual attitudes we expect of pop music.  If we're cruising on I-40, we usually want "Highway to Hell" instead of something like "Bells for Her."  But for some reason I've had Ms. Amos on my mind of late--perhaps because DeliriumSpeaks mentioned a few posts ago that she had been listening to "Cornflake Girl" while posting one of her posts and, for reasons I'll discuss later, "Cornflake Girl" is, to my mind, one of Amos' very best songs--and a fine pop song to boot.  It had been awhile since I had listened to an album of hers all the way through, so I picked Under the Pink to take with me on my journey (in case it matters, I also have Boys for Pele and From the Choirgirl Hotel [about "She's Your Cocaine," the reviewer in Rolling Stone wrote, "Her band rocks like the hardest working bar band . . . on Saturn."]).
I have a taste for the melodic-but-experimental (and vice-versa) in music, and I also confess that I'm a sucker for technical virtuosity.  Tori Amos' work as a musician and composer of music draws me to her on both those counts.  (Sidebar: my comments here won't address her lyrics, though I don't think it would take much stretching to apply them to the words.)  But more often than not, her compositions, their structure, I find distracting in their rather eccentric hairpin shifts in instrumentation.  The first song on Under the Pink, "Pretty Good Year," is a good example of what I mean.  It begins with a very pretty solo piano figure, supported by quiet strings--the sort of arrangement that in its apparent effortlessness and elegance and beauty and purity actually makes my eyes tear up.  Then come the bridge: "Some things are melting now" and the sudden shift to the electric guitars for all of, what, 10 seconds?  Then, just as abruptly, the return to the original arrangement and mood of the beginning.  That shift has always puzzled me.  Amos knows exactly what she's doing musically, so I can't chalk it up to Not Knowing Better.  It feels more like an act of musical willfulness rather than a moment that arises organically from the piece, a compositional acting out.  It's all the more noticeable in this 3:26 song.  I like when she (or any musician) takes musical risks, but sometimes those risks just don't pay off musically--or at least one version of the Musical Payoff.
It's a kind of inattention to the craft of writing the Standard Pop Song, which, whether it's Elton John or Eminem,  establishes and maintains the musical equivalent of Edgar Allan Poe's "singular effect" for, give or take, 3 minutes.  Wait, you might be saying.  You're judging Tori Amos' music by the same standards as Justin Timberlake's?  Well, yes--but also the Beatles' . . . and, for that matter, Amos' own two singles from this album, "God" and "Cornflake Girl."  Both establish a musical ground and don't stray from it for their respective durations.  And both are "conventional" only in those senses.  In this list I would also include "The Waitress," Amos' version of a Nirvana song, with its quiet verses and raved-up choruses.  It'd have made a better single than "God," but I'm guessing that its speaker's fantasy about killing her co-worker made people too uneasy for them to want to release it as a single . . . so instead they opted for a song in which the singer wonders if God might "need a woman to look after" Him.
This is not to say that unconventionally-structured songs aren't effective.  It is to say that in a 3:26 pop song there ain't a whole lot of time to give musically-willful moments a chance to breathe and establish a clearer relationship with the whole song.  By contrast, "Yes, Anastasia" works, despite its shifts in instrumentation, because of its length (9:33).  In more ways than one, it's Amos' most sustained song on the album.
All this is to say that I find Tori Amos' work on the whole to be more intriguing than successful.  She is her own woman as an artist, and I admire that.  But there are times when I listen to her that I think that she thinks her work is more about her than about the work itself, and that sort of thinking, more often than not, produces flawed art.  This is an idea that I can't do much more at this late hour than state--it seems that, like good poems, successful songs have an integrity to them that they themselves establish, and not their composers.  "Pretty Good Year" would work much better if Amos had just left well enough alone and let it finish as the aural confection that it starts out being.  "Cornflake Girl" works because she lets the song find itself; she stays out of the way and lets her beloved faeries do their stuff.

Those wishing to read the comments from the original LiveJournal post can go here.

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Thursday, April 01, 2004

"Are YOU a serial killer??"

I had a restful spring break, during which I delighted in the company of my children.  The hardest thing about my visits is the driving there and back (by car, about 14 hours if I drive straight through).  For once, my stay there coincided with some school activities that I could be part of: my younger daughter and the rest of her class had memorized little poems about an animal they had selected (she had chosen a crocodile) and then, at an evening recital, each group of kids who had selected a given poem dressed up at that animal and recited their poem.  Two days later, all the kids in her grade, accompanied by their parents, went on an all-day field trip to a large zoo in a nearby city; I got to go with her.  She had been to this zoo 2 years ago, but she didn't seem to remember having been there before.  No matter--in fact, in retrospect it could be that the trip went so well precisely because all seemed new to her.  The 8-week grading period for the girls' school also ended that week, and my older daughter was announced in an assembly, along with other kids, as being an all-A student AND, according to her teacher, the best writer in her class.Not quite "cute-kid" stories, but I had promised from the outset of this blog not to talk much about them.  But suffice it to say that nothing happened last week to make me anything else than very proud that I am their father.
And then I return to Wichita and I learn that a serial killer who had been active here from the mid-70s to the mid-80s had, last week, sent a letter that, despite the absence of text, signaled to this place that he had "returned."  Or had never left and wanted to let us know that.  No matter: some extreme unpleasantness from the past has exhumed itself and forced itself back into this town's collective awareness. Some links follow here, in case you're interested. This second link gives extensive background to this guy's activities from the mid-70s; what's especially unnerving about his resurfacing as he has, as you'll read in the first link, is that he has sent images that in their very muteness declare, more powerfully than writing ever could, that he's responsible for a murder that had not previously been attributed to him.
On the one hand, in my composition classes such an event as his reemergence is fresh meat for class discussions about critical thinking, the separation of fact from speculation . . . indeed, the teaching of the basic but crucial principle that facts, in and of themselves, have no meaning (recall Hamlet: "Nothing is good or bad/But thinking makes it so.").  And let me tell you that this news has fairly emasculated some of my coworkers' critical thinking faculties.  It's that last observation that leads me to my "on the other hand": why it is that serial killers fascinate us even as they chill us to the bone.  The same reason, incidentally: we just don't get this kind of murder.I'm under no delusions here, by the way, as to how original this thinking is, even though it's only now come to me why we're so naturally drawn to such stuff.  The crime buff or criminologist or psychologist reading this will likely roll his/her eyes at this entry's cliche-ridden (or at least very familiar) "analysis."  But.  To ME, my awareness of this line of thought is new.  So, it's not overly familiar and thus not cliche. (The immediate above, by the way, is a nod to Fearful Syzygy's recent entry about cliche--look for the link to his blog in my Friends list in my profile.[note: Newcomers will find that here])We understand the motives for the vast majority of murders, no matter whether we personally would or could ever do such a thing.  Love, requited or no.  Passion/anger.  Desire for someone else's money or possessions.  Because we so clearly and easily can locate the cause(s) of most murders and we innately understand that the vast majority of murders occur between people who know each other, even as we register their horribleness we instinctively know we are safe.  We don't have to think about them anymore.  One of the primary functions of narrative is to make sense of experience, and the motives of most murders are narratives that usually write themselves, they are so familiar--like our morning/afternoon commute.  But who knows what motivates the serial killer?  Because we don't, we immediately engage in speculation, and the lack of motive, even as we're fed elaborate detail about MOs, the selected contents of letters and FBI profiles, renders unfamiliar those usual well-travelled roads.  Narrative fails to make us feel as though we can order this experience and thus feel safe.  Jack the Ripper still haunts, a century after the fact, not simply because of the gruesome nature of his crimes but because (Patricia Cornwall notwithstanding), we don't know his motives and can't confirm his identity.  So now, I see things like this: Whether coincidence or not, it's a fact that all of BTK's victims have the number 3 somewhere in their street addresses.  So, those of my friends and colleagues that happen to have that to be true about themselves worry more--they can't otherwise exclude themselves from this man's list of possible targets.  It's irrational, those of us without 3's say, and they would agree, but because this narrative lacks motives and facts, that one fact assumes a larger importance--as with Henry James's famous description of a symbol, it throws a shadow curiouser than itself.  They forget that BTK would be at least in his 50s by now and thus way past the age of the typical serial killer; they forget that his most recent correspondence consisted solely of pictures--no text (so we're told by the police) that would indicate even why he sent them, much less an intent to kill again.  They cling to speculation in hopes that it will make them feel safer; it ends up frightening them even more.  The comfort machine that is narrative fails them. Hmm--the "typical serial killer."  A profile of a serial killer is a kind of stand-in narrative shaped by a combination of the facts of a particular case and what has been generally true of serial killers in the past.  But they too fail.  The DC-area police were initially looking for an individual white man, not two black men: they were working from a profile built on, among other things, the fact that such killers are overwhelmingly white and male and alone.I don't have any conclusions here; I'm merely describing a dynamic that is and will always be true.  I derive an odd sort of comfort, though, from recognizing that narrative fails, that, to borrow Mr. Compson's words from Absalom, Absalom!, it just doesn't explain.  Knowing that makes me more alert to new fact and how it might (re)shape speculation, and more ready to accept the failure of profiles and eyewitness accounts if those failures should come.
For Friday: back on track with a discussion of some music.

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